What I have learned as a mom...

These are hard lessons I never thought I would come to terms with...but lo and behold, I sit on my couch writing this post.
I may not be a veteran mom like some of you reading this, but I have learned many valuable lessons being a mom of 1 and pregnant with another. Let's list a few...

• Sometimes your house is just going to smell like poop even after you take out the diaper garbage, and that is OK. 
• You may be cleaning your house and find a bottle of chunky milk, that has been under the crib for who knows how long, and gag while you wash it out. (Tip: Vinegar gets the rotten milk smell out of plastic)
• Your rug has seen it's last days by the time your baby comes along and there is no way to prevent it. Spit up happens, spilled milk happens, and poop happens all too often. 
• The cost of diapers, formula, and baby food are most often going to double the bill it takes to feed you and your husband for a month. 
• Everyone and their dog has an opinion about how to raise your baby (Some old lady in the grocery store told me it's not safe to put your carseat in a cart? I'm pretty sure he's not going anywhere lady) and you can just nod politely then move on and tell your husband that your kid is still alive, right? What else do people want! Geez! 
• Babies are sturdy. They get bumps and bruises when they are being naughty (Clarification...I don't recommend beating your children. They do that to themselves). But even a good knock on the head doesn't require a trip to the Dr. or emergency room. Kids survive. Remember how our parents survived lead paint and no carseats during their baby years? Even though it might explain a lot, they survived! And our kids are way safer than that. 
• Your baby will learn how to roll one day when you are not looking and he is somewhere he should not be rolling. And again I emphasize, every bump and goose egg does not require a trip to the Dr....it's just a really good excuse if your kids get bad grades later on in life ;) 
• Babies like to eat everything. I mean EVERYTHING! Our magazines, books, remotes, cellphones, pillows, blankets, and extremities have seen better days. Just make sure they don't eat anything potentially hazardous. 
• Kids love to prove you wrong. Don't believe me? Go tell your kid something and I guarantee they will quickly start doing the opposite! "My baby has been sleeping so good! 9 hours straight each night!" That night your baby sleeps in 20 minute increments and wakes you up for the day at 5am. Then the pattern keeps going for endless months! 
• Kids aren't fooled by reverse psychology. They are smarter than you think. So if you are considering using the previous tip to your benefit, good luck! 
• You will most likely smell like spit up, vomit, and poop for the next 10 years. Accept it. Try to fool your husband into thinking it's the latest and greatest Ed Hardy scent.  
• You will see mom's out there that are always put together. That work out every single day and have rocking hot bods, are dressed unreasonably fashionable, their children are perfectly put together, and they have their hair down because some how there babies don't rip it out in chunks if it's not in a ponytail! Who know's how these woman do it, but even though they do it doesn't mean you're not a good mom and wife if you don't match up to their looks. As long as you get a shower in at least once a week (or more) consider yourself just as put together as them. 
• Bottles, caps, pieces to toys, baby socks, clothes, etc will go missing. Don't waste your days searching for them. There is some little house elf that steals them and takes them away and you will never find them once they are gone. It's their way of messing with your sanity. 
• Accept that part of your mind is gone and you will inevitably forget things. Just don't forget the baby somewhere important :) 
• If the house isn't clean, FINE! Our children only have a few short years that they are children. We will have plenty of time later on in life to have our house's perfect and at OCD standards. But for now play with your children. Take time to put down your phone, get off Facebook, and play with your baby while you can (I write this as he sleeps, so no hypocrisy here!) 

There are plenty more lessons learned. Mainly I have learned to chill. Everything works out. Kids are sturdy. The only thing that being uptight, perfect, and on a schedule kept to the second, will bring you is tiredness, stress, and overall unhappiness. Slow down and enjoy your kids :)