I'm sure that as time goes on things will get easier. We will fall into a schedule and our life will finally have some consistency. Right now things are just crazy, but we are loving it. Having another baby is like going from having 1 kid to 10. The laundry somehow seemed to quadruple, even though I have two hands and two arms I still can't seem to help both kids at once, and both our boys are going through a little bit of a rough patch right now.
Thankfully I have a saving grace. This saving grace is the best thing to ever happen to me. He is my better half. He has grace under pressure. He has patience far beyond my own. He has a special connection with the boys and he works harder than any other man under 30 years old that I know!
This amazing person is my awesome husband. I have always loved him with all of my heart and I always will, but lately I could not be more thankful for him. He has worked so hard running around taking care of all 3 of us, taking finals (and getting A's in his classes! Woot woot!!) and working. This man doesn't get a second for himself to sit down and do anything for himself. He's always doing things for us, and guess what....HE NEVER COMPLAINS! Not once do I hear anything negative from him. This guy is awesome. Every day I feel luckier that I got such an amazing catch. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. So here it is. My mushy, mushy, lovey, lovey, post for the month <3
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Thursday, April 10, 2014
I did it! I did it! I did it! Yay!
I'm currently singing that little Dora the Explorer song in my head "I (we) did it! I did it! I did it! Yay!!!" because I am as happy as a bird with a french fry right now! I have survived the semester! I feel so amazing accomplished right now it's not even funny. Let me break this down for ya. Between January and April I...
- Worked part time (from home)
- Was a full time mommy to Maddox
- Was pregnant and was restricted from doing much of anything
- I took 11 credits/4 classes
- Had a baby
- Was a full time mommy to both Maddox and Sawyer, while still working, and 2 weeks before finals!
- I survived!
- And I got all straight A's in each and every one of my classes!!!!!!!! (Can you tell I am just so stoked that I pulled off all A's?)
Holy Hannah I feel good! Can you see why? Now it's time for me and my sweet husband and amazing boys to take the next 6 months before school starts up again and enjoy the perfect Idaho summer weather and make memories.
Friday, March 28, 2014
The Family of Four!
I cant believe it! We are now a family of 4! I'm finally getting around to writing about our sweet baby boy Sawyer!
I had been having contractions for weeks and my Dr kept telling me "any day now". I either wanted something to happen or just have the contractions stop. I was getting so exhausted. Finally last Friday my contractions started getting closer together and by 9pm they were close enough for me to go to the hospital. Josh kept trying to have me go to the hospital, but I kept refusing. I think I was pretty terrified to have a second baby and I thought "As long as I don't go to the hospital our lives won't be changed forever". I was just so scared to finally be having a second baby. Also, I was only 37 weeks and would have been ok holding off one more week for the babes health and so I could get through a hard week at school. We weren't able to sleep and as the night dragged on my contractions kept getting worse. Finally at 2:30am Josh called our friends Mike and Lacey and they came over to stay with Maddox. Once Mike was here I knew I couldn't stall any longer and Josh finally dragged me out the door to the hospital. As soon as we got there the nurse admitted me and the fun began. The night seemed to pass so quickly and time was nothing. Labor was going really well and I actually felt like I was rocking labor this time around. I guess having a baby only 11 months ago left me pretty prepared for labor this time around. I didn't sleep at all through the night so I was running on over 30 hours of no sleep by the time he was born. My labor slowed for a while but then once it picked up again it was only an hour before we were holding our baby. Sawyer Matthew Wray was born at 1:01 pm weighing exactly 7 pounds and measuring 19.5 inches. He is perfect in every single way. We spent an extra day in the hospital because they were worried about his breathing, especially where he was born a little bit pre-term. We had a few scary experiences with him not breathing, especially the first day. The first night after he was born he stayed in our room until 2am when the nurse came in and she ended up taking him down to the NICU for the night to be evaluated. But we had him back by the next morning and after one or two more quick trips to the NICU his Dr finally felt good about his breathing and we were able to go home!
We feel so blessed to have little Sawyer in our family. This pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster. For the first two trimesters I only had a 50/50 chance of giving birth to him. We heard the words "miscarriage" and "stillborn" more times than we would like to recall. I was on strict bed rest for weeks. So many tears were shed and prayers were said and we now have a perfect son here safe and sound. I can honestly testify that prayer works. I know for a fact that this baby is only here because of all the prayers that were said for him and me, and Im so thankful for everyone that prayed for us and helped us in our times of need. Our ward has been amazing and has done a ton to help us, and my mom has been a heaven sent. She has completely dropped her schedule multiple times to come up here and take care of us, and she never complains. We couldn't be more thankful for all the amazing people in our lives.
As soon as they put this baby on my chest and he cried for the first time I knew he was a miracle and I felt beyond blessed to be able to carry him and be his momma.
I love this perfect little boy and me and Josh are so blessed to have two amazing sons. We are now, proudly, a family of four!
I had been having contractions for weeks and my Dr kept telling me "any day now". I either wanted something to happen or just have the contractions stop. I was getting so exhausted. Finally last Friday my contractions started getting closer together and by 9pm they were close enough for me to go to the hospital. Josh kept trying to have me go to the hospital, but I kept refusing. I think I was pretty terrified to have a second baby and I thought "As long as I don't go to the hospital our lives won't be changed forever". I was just so scared to finally be having a second baby. Also, I was only 37 weeks and would have been ok holding off one more week for the babes health and so I could get through a hard week at school. We weren't able to sleep and as the night dragged on my contractions kept getting worse. Finally at 2:30am Josh called our friends Mike and Lacey and they came over to stay with Maddox. Once Mike was here I knew I couldn't stall any longer and Josh finally dragged me out the door to the hospital. As soon as we got there the nurse admitted me and the fun began. The night seemed to pass so quickly and time was nothing. Labor was going really well and I actually felt like I was rocking labor this time around. I guess having a baby only 11 months ago left me pretty prepared for labor this time around. I didn't sleep at all through the night so I was running on over 30 hours of no sleep by the time he was born. My labor slowed for a while but then once it picked up again it was only an hour before we were holding our baby. Sawyer Matthew Wray was born at 1:01 pm weighing exactly 7 pounds and measuring 19.5 inches. He is perfect in every single way. We spent an extra day in the hospital because they were worried about his breathing, especially where he was born a little bit pre-term. We had a few scary experiences with him not breathing, especially the first day. The first night after he was born he stayed in our room until 2am when the nurse came in and she ended up taking him down to the NICU for the night to be evaluated. But we had him back by the next morning and after one or two more quick trips to the NICU his Dr finally felt good about his breathing and we were able to go home!
We feel so blessed to have little Sawyer in our family. This pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster. For the first two trimesters I only had a 50/50 chance of giving birth to him. We heard the words "miscarriage" and "stillborn" more times than we would like to recall. I was on strict bed rest for weeks. So many tears were shed and prayers were said and we now have a perfect son here safe and sound. I can honestly testify that prayer works. I know for a fact that this baby is only here because of all the prayers that were said for him and me, and Im so thankful for everyone that prayed for us and helped us in our times of need. Our ward has been amazing and has done a ton to help us, and my mom has been a heaven sent. She has completely dropped her schedule multiple times to come up here and take care of us, and she never complains. We couldn't be more thankful for all the amazing people in our lives.
As soon as they put this baby on my chest and he cried for the first time I knew he was a miracle and I felt beyond blessed to be able to carry him and be his momma.
I love this perfect little boy and me and Josh are so blessed to have two amazing sons. We are now, proudly, a family of four!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Day 11
I am officially on day #11 of the early stages of labor....and I am tired. I wish I could call these braxton hicks contractions, but unfortunately they are all to consistent and painful! I just wish they would either go away or do something. I don't feel like I can sit like this for another 3-4 weeks!
I felt like I was getting through the first week or so pretty sane, now i'm starting to lose it. After 10 nights of 3 hours of sleep (if i'm lucky) I feel like a complete mental patient. You could tell me something and 5 minutes later ask me what you just told me, and I probably wouldn't be able to recall one word you said. Multiple times will I be looking for something and getting so frustrated because I can't find it, and I was holding it the whole time. Small things like that every day add up and make me feel like i'm totally losing it. I feel completely exhausted 2 hours after I wake up in the morning and I could honestly probably take 4-5 naps a day at this point haha. I'm in so much pain and so stiff that doing things like picking up the house or vacuuming are major chores for me. It's horrible. I feel like a fat lazy whale these days.
FORTUNATELY my Dr has told me that i'm allowed to start walking again! Hallelujah! For the past 3 months I have been restricted from going on walks, walking around the track, etc. But now i'm back baby! This is the only thing I really enjoy doing these days. Some days I want to go walking at the track 2 or 3 times in the same day. It gives me some energy that I desperately need, it gets me out of the house which is a huge bonus! (being cooped up in the house during the winter = no bueno). Maddox LOVES to go walking and he smiles and yells at all the runners and old people passing us up (yes, with my pregnant lady waddle old people pass us up). But I just love that it makes me feel good, it's the only thing that gives me that boost right now. So every day me, Josh and Maddox all pile in the car and drive up to the school and walk till we can't walk no more!
I feel like labor is getting progressively worse, but idk if that's just because it's been so long it's starting to just feel worse, or if i'm progressing towards active labor. We will find out sooner or later I guess ;)
So with all of this i'm still trying to get things ready for the baby, but I have NO energy. Seriously, my house could use a good scrubbing, but by the time I fill up the bucket with soap and water, pull out the mop, and get ready to rumble i'm completely exhausted. I am seriously considering hiring someone to come over for like 2 hours this week and just scrub my house from top to bottom. I can't find the energy to do it ( I know i'm so lazy) and when I do go into labor I don't want people in and out of our house taking care of Maddox or picking stuff up for us and thinking "Holy cow! Ever heard of a Swiffer, lady?!"
I'll debate it for the next day or two and decide if it's worth it. If I do it, it will just have to be some cleaning service or some student cleaning houses to get through college, there's no way I could hire someone I know to come over. I would be mortified (Our house really isn't THAT bad, but having someone you know clean your house...wouldn't you be embarrassed too?!)
Have you ever hired a cleaning lady or cleaning service? Was it worth it? Any tips?
I felt like I was getting through the first week or so pretty sane, now i'm starting to lose it. After 10 nights of 3 hours of sleep (if i'm lucky) I feel like a complete mental patient. You could tell me something and 5 minutes later ask me what you just told me, and I probably wouldn't be able to recall one word you said. Multiple times will I be looking for something and getting so frustrated because I can't find it, and I was holding it the whole time. Small things like that every day add up and make me feel like i'm totally losing it. I feel completely exhausted 2 hours after I wake up in the morning and I could honestly probably take 4-5 naps a day at this point haha. I'm in so much pain and so stiff that doing things like picking up the house or vacuuming are major chores for me. It's horrible. I feel like a fat lazy whale these days.
FORTUNATELY my Dr has told me that i'm allowed to start walking again! Hallelujah! For the past 3 months I have been restricted from going on walks, walking around the track, etc. But now i'm back baby! This is the only thing I really enjoy doing these days. Some days I want to go walking at the track 2 or 3 times in the same day. It gives me some energy that I desperately need, it gets me out of the house which is a huge bonus! (being cooped up in the house during the winter = no bueno). Maddox LOVES to go walking and he smiles and yells at all the runners and old people passing us up (yes, with my pregnant lady waddle old people pass us up). But I just love that it makes me feel good, it's the only thing that gives me that boost right now. So every day me, Josh and Maddox all pile in the car and drive up to the school and walk till we can't walk no more!
I feel like labor is getting progressively worse, but idk if that's just because it's been so long it's starting to just feel worse, or if i'm progressing towards active labor. We will find out sooner or later I guess ;)
So with all of this i'm still trying to get things ready for the baby, but I have NO energy. Seriously, my house could use a good scrubbing, but by the time I fill up the bucket with soap and water, pull out the mop, and get ready to rumble i'm completely exhausted. I am seriously considering hiring someone to come over for like 2 hours this week and just scrub my house from top to bottom. I can't find the energy to do it ( I know i'm so lazy) and when I do go into labor I don't want people in and out of our house taking care of Maddox or picking stuff up for us and thinking "Holy cow! Ever heard of a Swiffer, lady?!"
I'll debate it for the next day or two and decide if it's worth it. If I do it, it will just have to be some cleaning service or some student cleaning houses to get through college, there's no way I could hire someone I know to come over. I would be mortified (Our house really isn't THAT bad, but having someone you know clean your house...wouldn't you be embarrassed too?!)
Have you ever hired a cleaning lady or cleaning service? Was it worth it? Any tips?
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Feeling Lazy
April 8th was the due date we were given, however for the last 2 weeks specifically i've been feeling more and more miserable. The baby has dropped down making it hard to walk, lean over, or do much of anything without being in pain. I've also been having awesome contractions that have been making me progress towards labor. And finally today after seeing how strong my contractions were, how progressed I was, and especially that this has been consistent for almost 2 weeks now, my Dr told me he doesn't think we're going to make it 2 more weeks without a baby BUT if I did make it that far and was still contracting he would help things along. Basically he feels terrible i've been in the early stages of labor for 2 weeks and I think he'll feel even worse letting me sit in the early stages of labor for a month (I love that a Dr can see how strong your contractions are and realize you're not just whining and complaining about being pregnant...but that you're really in pain!) So now the stressing begins.
I feel like I have procrastinated in a way. I thought we would be having a baby in April, so I haven't stressed about getting things done. Now I feel like I don't have enough time and i'm not prepared. I'm sitting here staring at piles of laundry waiting to be folded, I still need to pull out newborn clothes and get those washed and put away, I need to read a million books about how to survive with 2 kids under the age of 1, and I haven't even thought about a hospital bag. So today I just feel overwhelmed. There's so much to do and I have a fear of not having things done if I go into labor....but thinking of everything I have to do makes me want to take a nap. If anyone would love to come do my laundry and read me parenting books, be my guest :)
I feel like I have procrastinated in a way. I thought we would be having a baby in April, so I haven't stressed about getting things done. Now I feel like I don't have enough time and i'm not prepared. I'm sitting here staring at piles of laundry waiting to be folded, I still need to pull out newborn clothes and get those washed and put away, I need to read a million books about how to survive with 2 kids under the age of 1, and I haven't even thought about a hospital bag. So today I just feel overwhelmed. There's so much to do and I have a fear of not having things done if I go into labor....but thinking of everything I have to do makes me want to take a nap. If anyone would love to come do my laundry and read me parenting books, be my guest :)
Monday, February 17, 2014
Long time, no blog!
It's been a while! I miss this place. I've visited a few times but by the time I click "new post" something else seems to come up. We are loving life right now though!
A few weeks ago I got really sick and couldn't eat or drink anything for over 24 hours. I finally went into the Dr and by that point I was so dehydrated that the babies heartbeat was racing and he sent me to the hospital right away. They tested me for influenza and it came out positive. Blech. As soon as they started me on an IV and Tamiflu they hooked me up to baby monitors to make sure the baby was doing ok, I started having contractions. They said it was caused by the dehydration and gave me a few shots of some fun stuff to help stop my contractions. After a few hours and 4 IV bags of fluids and some nausea medicine I was finally feeling a little bit better and I was able to get out after spending most of the day at the hospital. I can honestly say I have never felt that sick in my lifetime. It was the most horrific thing I went through. Holy. Cow. Then when I went in for my follow up last week (to make sure I was over the flu and the baby was still doing good) my Dr informed me this baby is looking like he's going to make his appearance early. He's already dropped and i'm already showing a few more signs that mean labor is coming soon. So now we're trying to get things ready. I still need to sort out and organize the boys clothes and clean out the closet and throw all of our junk away. I'm so tired of junk. Why do we have so much of it?!
We finally got carseats ordered, Maddox's new one came today and hopefully the new baby's will be here this week or at the least next week. We made one real purchase other than a carseat for this baby, and that was a bouncy chair. Surprisingly enough we didn't get a bouncy chair with Maddox. When he was a few months old my sister gave us one that she had in storage and it was a life saver. He LOVED that thing. Unfortunately he still loves it and he's terrorized it and the vibrations, sound, and lights don't work anymore. So we had to invest in a new one. We're keeping this one in the box until the new baby comes, then we will whip it out. I would really like to declutter our whole house before this baby comes, but I just don't know if I have the energy to do it. Honestly the past few days i'm at the point where I look at my house and i'm so overwhelmed by how much stuff we have and I have wanted to just call the dump and have them drop one of those dumpsters off in front of our house and come pick it up at the end of the day. I could throw out a LOT of stuff. Maybe i'll have to do spring cleaning once the baby comes and I can finally move again without falling over.
My little Maddox is growing up so fast! He got his first 2 teeth today, moved into a big boy carseat today, got his 3rd haircut last night, and he's been walking all over our house with his little walker (best investment EVER!) He melts my heart every day and he just seems to be getting cuter and cuter. I worry so much about having another baby because i'm scared that nothing could steal my heart like Maddox has, but I know for a fact that I will love this second baby just as much :) I just hope he survives having a big brother that may accidentally give him a few bonks and bruises. I really am terrified for this little ones survival once he gets here. Josh thinks it will just make him tough :)
As far as school goes...I'm half way through the semester and I have all A's in all 5 classes! Not even any A-'s so i'm feeling pretty good about that so far.
SO there's a recap of our past few weeks. Our lives are crazy right now with both me and Josh working, going to school, loving on our boy, and preparing for our new addition. It keeps us on our toes but we go to bed every night thankful for everything that we have!
A few weeks ago I got really sick and couldn't eat or drink anything for over 24 hours. I finally went into the Dr and by that point I was so dehydrated that the babies heartbeat was racing and he sent me to the hospital right away. They tested me for influenza and it came out positive. Blech. As soon as they started me on an IV and Tamiflu they hooked me up to baby monitors to make sure the baby was doing ok, I started having contractions. They said it was caused by the dehydration and gave me a few shots of some fun stuff to help stop my contractions. After a few hours and 4 IV bags of fluids and some nausea medicine I was finally feeling a little bit better and I was able to get out after spending most of the day at the hospital. I can honestly say I have never felt that sick in my lifetime. It was the most horrific thing I went through. Holy. Cow. Then when I went in for my follow up last week (to make sure I was over the flu and the baby was still doing good) my Dr informed me this baby is looking like he's going to make his appearance early. He's already dropped and i'm already showing a few more signs that mean labor is coming soon. So now we're trying to get things ready. I still need to sort out and organize the boys clothes and clean out the closet and throw all of our junk away. I'm so tired of junk. Why do we have so much of it?!
We finally got carseats ordered, Maddox's new one came today and hopefully the new baby's will be here this week or at the least next week. We made one real purchase other than a carseat for this baby, and that was a bouncy chair. Surprisingly enough we didn't get a bouncy chair with Maddox. When he was a few months old my sister gave us one that she had in storage and it was a life saver. He LOVED that thing. Unfortunately he still loves it and he's terrorized it and the vibrations, sound, and lights don't work anymore. So we had to invest in a new one. We're keeping this one in the box until the new baby comes, then we will whip it out. I would really like to declutter our whole house before this baby comes, but I just don't know if I have the energy to do it. Honestly the past few days i'm at the point where I look at my house and i'm so overwhelmed by how much stuff we have and I have wanted to just call the dump and have them drop one of those dumpsters off in front of our house and come pick it up at the end of the day. I could throw out a LOT of stuff. Maybe i'll have to do spring cleaning once the baby comes and I can finally move again without falling over.
My little Maddox is growing up so fast! He got his first 2 teeth today, moved into a big boy carseat today, got his 3rd haircut last night, and he's been walking all over our house with his little walker (best investment EVER!) He melts my heart every day and he just seems to be getting cuter and cuter. I worry so much about having another baby because i'm scared that nothing could steal my heart like Maddox has, but I know for a fact that I will love this second baby just as much :) I just hope he survives having a big brother that may accidentally give him a few bonks and bruises. I really am terrified for this little ones survival once he gets here. Josh thinks it will just make him tough :)
As far as school goes...I'm half way through the semester and I have all A's in all 5 classes! Not even any A-'s so i'm feeling pretty good about that so far.
SO there's a recap of our past few weeks. Our lives are crazy right now with both me and Josh working, going to school, loving on our boy, and preparing for our new addition. It keeps us on our toes but we go to bed every night thankful for everything that we have!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
A lot can change in a week
It was one week ago today that we were on our way to the hospital at 5am for Maddox's ear surgery. He wasn't allowed any bottles after 11pm the night before, so I only got about 2 hours of sleep that night comforting him and trying to get him to sleep as much as he could.
First of all, we showed up at the wrong hospital. Luckily the right hospital was just 5 blocks away. He was finally admitted and we went back to pre-op. He had all of his vitals taken and he got to wear a cute little baby hospital gown and "duck feet" socks. He was being so stinking sweet and cute I was on the edge of a breakdown. He was so snuggly and lovey, and he flirted with all the nurses and was melting everyones hearts. We got about 5 run downs from 5 different people and waited forever and ever it seemed like. Finally it was time for him to go back, they let me carry him to the front doors of the operating room while the anesthesiologist rolled the bed, then when we got to the door I had to hand him over to the anesthesiologist. I gave Maddox a million kisses and the anesthesiologist said "lets go for an adventure buddy" and took him from me. Maddox was so excited and was jumping up and down. And they walked away...and the doors to the ER shut. I burst into tears. Like seriously, sobbing. I'm blaming most of it on my pregnancy hormones, and the fact that I had only gotten 2 hours of interrupted sleep the night before. Either way, having him put under terrified me to death. I read way to many horror stories on Google (note to the wise, don't ever google any operation your child is having. You will die of a heart attack.) So we walked through pre-op back out to the waiting room. A surgeon who was prepping for a different surgery saw me bawling and smiled and told me it was going to be ok. We walked into the waiting room and everyones heads turned towards us. Just picture this... A lady and her husband walk into the operation waiting room. The lady is holding a diaper bag and clinging to her babies PJ's. She is sobbing and her husband is trying to consul her. I'm pretty sure most everyone in there thought it was a life threatening surgery. Probably open heart or brain surgery were the best guesses. Honestly, I wasn't really focused on what anyone was thinking during that time. I prayed for the whole 20 minutes and then the nurses called us back to a small room to talk to the surgeon. He told us everything had gone great and gave us instructions to manage pain and keep away infections. It was right then that I heard my poor baby scream for the first time. He had just woken up from the anesthesia and was hysterical. They wouldn't let us back into the recovery room for a few minutes (heaven knows why!) and I was dying. I could hear my poor baby screaming and I knew he would be ok if he could just have his momma. I was on the verge of just running back to the recovery room to hold him when FINALLY the nurse came and got me. I'm no dr but I don't understand why they can't come get you right away :( That was the worst part of it was hearing him screaming and crying and knowing he was scared and delirious, but they had to wait forever before I could go back and see him. Anyway, I was finally able to go back and snuggle my boy in his little hospital bed. He bawled for a long time and finally settled down. We were able to go home a little while later and all 3 of us crashed in our bed for 2 or 3 hours. Maddox was still really out of it from the anesthesia and me and Josh were both exhausted from the night before. A nap never felt so heavenly. It was a rough day that day, but ever since that day Maddox has only improved. He just barely turned 9 months old, and so there wasn't really a suspicion he couldn't hear well because of his ears. His dr told us that most kids that have the fluid blocked in their ears can't hear well. His comparison was to think about when you get water stuck in your ears after swimming, that's what they hear all the time. Maddox was still babbling a few sounds and saying "momma" but that was it. This past week he has totally taken off in his talking. He now says "dada" and he babbles all sorts of new sounds. He responds to his name! (totally new) and he finally responds to "no" (hallelujah!) He looks at you when you're talking, and he even talks back to you. Again, I never knew there was a problem before, but now i'm convinced that it was affecting his hearing because this past week he has completely advanced. I'm so proud, and feel so relieved that his ears are finally not causing him problems. This is the first time since early November that he has gone more than 2 days without tugging on his ears and being on antibiotics for ear infections. He's finally feeling better, he's sleeping better, and he's overall a happy baby.
I just can't believe how much he's advanced in one week and what a completely different baby he is now that his ears don't hurt him!
I am so overly happy that we finally got that taken care of, I can't say it enough!
First of all, we showed up at the wrong hospital. Luckily the right hospital was just 5 blocks away. He was finally admitted and we went back to pre-op. He had all of his vitals taken and he got to wear a cute little baby hospital gown and "duck feet" socks. He was being so stinking sweet and cute I was on the edge of a breakdown. He was so snuggly and lovey, and he flirted with all the nurses and was melting everyones hearts. We got about 5 run downs from 5 different people and waited forever and ever it seemed like. Finally it was time for him to go back, they let me carry him to the front doors of the operating room while the anesthesiologist rolled the bed, then when we got to the door I had to hand him over to the anesthesiologist. I gave Maddox a million kisses and the anesthesiologist said "lets go for an adventure buddy" and took him from me. Maddox was so excited and was jumping up and down. And they walked away...and the doors to the ER shut. I burst into tears. Like seriously, sobbing. I'm blaming most of it on my pregnancy hormones, and the fact that I had only gotten 2 hours of interrupted sleep the night before. Either way, having him put under terrified me to death. I read way to many horror stories on Google (note to the wise, don't ever google any operation your child is having. You will die of a heart attack.) So we walked through pre-op back out to the waiting room. A surgeon who was prepping for a different surgery saw me bawling and smiled and told me it was going to be ok. We walked into the waiting room and everyones heads turned towards us. Just picture this... A lady and her husband walk into the operation waiting room. The lady is holding a diaper bag and clinging to her babies PJ's. She is sobbing and her husband is trying to consul her. I'm pretty sure most everyone in there thought it was a life threatening surgery. Probably open heart or brain surgery were the best guesses. Honestly, I wasn't really focused on what anyone was thinking during that time. I prayed for the whole 20 minutes and then the nurses called us back to a small room to talk to the surgeon. He told us everything had gone great and gave us instructions to manage pain and keep away infections. It was right then that I heard my poor baby scream for the first time. He had just woken up from the anesthesia and was hysterical. They wouldn't let us back into the recovery room for a few minutes (heaven knows why!) and I was dying. I could hear my poor baby screaming and I knew he would be ok if he could just have his momma. I was on the verge of just running back to the recovery room to hold him when FINALLY the nurse came and got me. I'm no dr but I don't understand why they can't come get you right away :( That was the worst part of it was hearing him screaming and crying and knowing he was scared and delirious, but they had to wait forever before I could go back and see him. Anyway, I was finally able to go back and snuggle my boy in his little hospital bed. He bawled for a long time and finally settled down. We were able to go home a little while later and all 3 of us crashed in our bed for 2 or 3 hours. Maddox was still really out of it from the anesthesia and me and Josh were both exhausted from the night before. A nap never felt so heavenly. It was a rough day that day, but ever since that day Maddox has only improved. He just barely turned 9 months old, and so there wasn't really a suspicion he couldn't hear well because of his ears. His dr told us that most kids that have the fluid blocked in their ears can't hear well. His comparison was to think about when you get water stuck in your ears after swimming, that's what they hear all the time. Maddox was still babbling a few sounds and saying "momma" but that was it. This past week he has totally taken off in his talking. He now says "dada" and he babbles all sorts of new sounds. He responds to his name! (totally new) and he finally responds to "no" (hallelujah!) He looks at you when you're talking, and he even talks back to you. Again, I never knew there was a problem before, but now i'm convinced that it was affecting his hearing because this past week he has completely advanced. I'm so proud, and feel so relieved that his ears are finally not causing him problems. This is the first time since early November that he has gone more than 2 days without tugging on his ears and being on antibiotics for ear infections. He's finally feeling better, he's sleeping better, and he's overall a happy baby.
I just can't believe how much he's advanced in one week and what a completely different baby he is now that his ears don't hurt him!
I am so overly happy that we finally got that taken care of, I can't say it enough!
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